Moving with Children

January 17, 2009 · Print This Article

If you think moving is hard on grown-ups, imagine what it’s like for kids. They’re starting over and trying to meet new friends while getting used to a new home, neighborhood, and school. Think about your children’s specific needs before, during, and after the change and you’ll make a big difference in how your children feel about the move and how they adjust afterwards.

BEFORE THE MOVE

Give your children a chance to talk about their feelings and let them know how you are feeling too.
Help them make a list of phone numbers and addresses of friends, relatives, and other important people. Knowing they can stay in touch with these people is reassuring.
Visit your new home and line up some activities for your child to be part of after the move; a sports team, music lessons, or a scouting troop.

DURING THE MOVE

Stay upbeat and calm as you can. Your own mood will impact your children’s moods.
Involve your children in the packing. Older children can put their own belongings in boxes, and children of all ages will enjoy decorating the boxes containing their things.
Stick to your routines. Have meals at the same times you normally do.
Don’t pack things that your children treasure. Take special blankets, favorite books, and other prized items in the car or on the plane with you.
Help your children say goodbye to the important people in their lives. For their friends, a party is a fun way to celebrate the friendship.
For many families, moving day means a long car trip or a cross-country flight. Prevent backseat blues and airline angst by adding travel fun and games to your plans.
Allow your child to bring an album with pictures of their old home and friends. This will allow them to express their feelings and give you a chance to reassure them that it is natural to feel loss and initial discomfort with such a big change.

AFTER THE MOVE

To make your new home seem more like home, hang your child’s or family portrait in a prominent location or create a tabletop display of family photographs.
Take pictures of the new home, neighborhood playmates, family members, and school. Start a new family album to show there is fun and family togetherness available at the new home.
Don’t spend too much time unpacking at least not right away! In the first few days, take time to enjoy your new home with your family. Take walks and check out local restaurants.

Above all, listen. Be there when your children get home after the first day at their new schools, even if it means having to leave work early. Ask often how things are going, and take time to listen.

Written by Ed Nailor